“Are you all right?“ Aziraphale fumbled
with the phone, clutching it closer to his ear. “You sound terrible.”
“Heh. Can’t sssay the ssssame, angel. Ugh…wait.”
“Are
you hurt? What happened?”
“Nuh. Juss’ got back. Bloody awful time.
Helluva time. Heh. Ssss’ joke.” There was a breathy sigh down the line. “Don’t like
it down there angel. Don’t like it. Usssed all m’ magic. Jussst wanted to get
out. Wassn’t paying attention an’ came up here. Not there. Not—London. Obviousssly.
Would like to be.”
“Crowley, dear, where are you?” said
Aziraphale carefully.
“Dunno.” There was a sniff. “‘Sss all cold
‘n ssscraggy. Ssscotland maybe.”
“Ok. Ok, I can—I can follow your mobile phone
signal, can’t I?”
There was a hissing laugh on the other end.
“Ah angel. You can follow my mobilephone sssignal anytime. Heh. I misssssed you, angel.”
“Answer the question, dear.” Aziraphale grabbed
his coat, phone pressed between his shoulder and jaw, thrusting an arm through.
He struggled for a moment, before he slid his arm out and and put it through
the other side, muttering a curse under his breath.
“Yeah. You’ve gotta turn on the, the…ugh. No.
No. You know, just. Talk to it. Tell it
to… find my location. Be convincccing. Like you’re chasssing sssssomeone away
from the ssshop. Y’know. Firm.”
“Right, will do.” He pulled the door open,
locking the shop firmly behind him with a glare and started briskly down the
street.
“Hey, there’sss a…yeah. A town. Jussst over
there. I can sssee a—“ there was a yelp and a loud crackling sound from the
other end. Aziraphale stopped dead in his tracks, causing an important looking businessman
to nearly crash into him.
“Crowley?! What happened? Are you all right?” He completely
missed the dirty looks he was getting for blocking the foot traffic.
“Ngk. Bloody ditch. Came outta nowhere.”
The angel let out a sigh of relief, half
jogging down the pavement. “All right. You find that town and then you stay put,
all right? I’ll be there soon. Don’t try anything. I’m coming to get you.”
Human!Omens as an excuse to draw Crowley with different-colored eyes (not very visible here but they are) but all I was thinking about is a set up where Crowley is a hellishly good tax collector and Aziraphale is a heavenly gifted tax evader and how rom-com would that be?
Crowley deadass fuckin got humanity kicked out of eden cuz he thought it’d be a Funnie Joake what a precious bastard
I Can’t Believe Crowley And Aziraphale Are An Old Married Couple Who Go For Walks In The Park And Feed The Ducks Together
HELLO???????
full offence but those two getting absolutely smashed in the back room of aziraphale’s bookshop and arguing about dolphins is literally the funniest and gayest thing i’ve ever read in my life
aziraphale likes devilled eggs…..Meat of Four Icicles Subtext mayhaps??????
I’m fully SCREAMING
Crowley’s name is fucking Anthony I hate him
Guess I’ll die!!!!!!
AZIRAPHALE SAID FUCK
OH MY GOD HIS BOOKS
I was sat here crying over the books and my friend jesse said “at least the angel still has the most important thing to him” LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU’RE RIGHT
Is Aziraphale Fucking Dead
“Move, I’m Gay” – Aziraphale
rip 1926 bentley you were a good bitch
tag yourself….. i’m the guy who’s too polite to tell crowley his car is on fire
aziraphale was so upset crowley didn’t give a shit that he was alive that he fuckin killed a guy
aziraphale and crowley thought the world was going to end and in response they were like ‘let’s hold hands while we fight’ like that’s a thing that really happened in the book
willowfoot 