OH BUT BEST BODYSWAP OR BEST BODYSWAP Y/Y HOLY SHIT
LEGOLAS DEALING WITH CURLY HAIR
“You brushed it, didn’t you.”
Sheepish nod in answer, surrounded by clouds of fluff.
GIMLI FORGETTING TO DUCK
“Owwww.”
“Mellon nin?
“Why is your head so damnably soft? Owwww.”
EYESIGHT SHENANIGANS
“You can’t see anything!”
"Now I know why elves sleep with their eyes open – it’s because they can’t bloody stop lookin’ at everything, even for a second! Ugh, I’m gettin’ a headache.”
BEARD
“But how do you eat without wearing your meal?”
“Ah, a bit o’ food gets in the moustache now and then, nothing to be alarmed over. Brush it out.”
*Genteel, horrified silence*
WEAPONS
“I can’t aim this thing – ach, give me my axe, I don’t care if it’s too short for me now.”
thud.
“…I don’t think it’s meant to land in the wall.”
”Arrgh.”
SNOWWWW
”Oh, I’m a wee shiny elf, I’m off to find the sun, look at me prancin’ about like the great show-off that I am…”
“Gimli, could you please dig me out?”
I’m surprised Legolas can shoot straight, considering how gay he is.
it will never cease to delight me that in the trilogy, gimli is shown to be charming, with all the polish and grace of a trained diplomat—he trades wits with elrond and speaks so graciously to galadriel that she gives him a gift denied feanor; his extemporaneous description of the glittering caves is what convinces legolas to travel there with him after the war, he sings the song of durin so well that sam begs to learn it.
whereas legolas is this big cheerful lug of a hunter-tracker, incidentally a prince, only unwittingly beautiful and graceful—his speech is decidedly stiff and formal, even when he’s trying to be gentle, but then turns around and starts singing without realizing he’s forgotten half the song. He has strange moments of seriousness, when the ancientness of him shines through, but then—
I do wonder what their first conversations were, gimli dignified but a little chilly; legolas stiff even as he attempted humor, but a way forward nonetheless.
Reading return of the king, and honestly it’s so funny. Legos and Gimli enter Minas Tirith after the battle and they’re just judging.
Gimli is like “some of this stone work is alright but most of its terrible. When Aragorn is King, I’ll send some dwarves to fix it”
And Legolas is like “well the trees are terrible so I’LL send some elves work better trees. And birds”
The Elves of this land were of a race strange to us of the Silvan folk, and the trees and the grass do not now remember them: Only I hear the stones lament them: deep they delved us, fair they wrought us, high they builded us; but they are gone. They are gone. They sought the Havens long ago.
Legolas in Hollin, The Fellowship of the Ring (via one-small-garden)
To answer that, let’s look for a moment at an excerpt from The Fellowship Of The Ring:
Legolas watched them for a while with a smile upon his lips, and then he turned to the others. `The strongest must seek a way, say you? But I say: let a ploughman plough, but choose an otter for swimming, and for running light over grass and leaf or over snow-an Elf.’
With that he sprang forth nimbly, and then Frodo noticed as if for the first time, though he had long known it, that the Elf had no boots, but wore only light shoes, as he always did, and his feet made little imprint in the snow.
‘Farewell!’ he said to Gandalf. `I go to find the Sun!’ Then swift as a runner over firm sand he shot away, and quickly overtaking the toiling men, with a wave of his hand he passed them, and sped into the distance, and vanished round the rocky turn.
Now I don’t know about you, but that sure fucking sounds like a Naruto run to me.
‘you comfort me’ and ‘where Legolas goes i go’ and ‘he stands not alone’ and ‘often he took Gimli with him when he went abroad in the land, and the others wondered at this change’, and ‘had now become fast friends’ and ‘for any love’ , and ‘Legolas and Gimli as ever rode together upon Arod’ and god, so many more moments sheesh
And they’re ALWAYS off canoodling gossiping and commenting on the action together, the ‘camera’ always returns to them (and usually to GIMLI’S pov) to see events through their eyes and they just talk at each other even though they’re still freakin’ SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE, they have a world of two, joined at the hip, jesus. So married.
and then when they tell stories, they take over from each other and finish the scene for each other and freely compliment each other (I MEAN WHAT THE HELL just reading ‘The Last Debate’ is like watching a married couple tell the story of how they met, urgh they are so sickening)
and yes yes, Gimli’s Glittering Caves speech is just the most beautiful, lyrical and evocative piece of prose in the whole damn trilogy, how can anyone read it and then make Gimli appear brutish, foul-mouthed and crude is beyond me, even Galadriel thinks he’s a smooth-talking little shit
and all those dates tantalising moments that are never shown: Lothlorien, and then ‘dwelling in a fair house’ in Gondor after the war, and then Aglarond and Fangorn i mean
and then Gimli gets to go to Valinor, something which is totally and jawdroppingly flabbergasting. He’s not a Ringbearer, or blessed by Ulmo like Tuor – he’s a mortal, he’s a dwarf.
lord of the rings has me in its clutches. i keep drawing legolas and gimli, help. they literally sail off into the sunset together and that killed me like i love them so much i need an ambulance
willowfoot 